


Keeping Calm & Carrying On – or – The Floor is Lava

by slightly_ajar



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Fluff, Found Family, Team as Family, silliness, the floor is lava
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 08:34:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24468040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slightly_ajar/pseuds/slightly_ajar
Summary: Sometimes being an agent with a clandestine government agency is all action.
Relationships: Angus MacGyver/Desiree "Desi" Nguyen
Comments: 16
Kudos: 28





	Keeping Calm & Carrying On – or – The Floor is Lava

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Westwoodbullet who asked for Desi solving a problem by being only one who's calm.

Sometimes being an agent with a clandestine government agency is all action. Planes are jumped out of, fisticuffs are had and sometimes you find yourself in a race against time with a ticking bomb behind you and a door closing in front of you. 

“Open the blast doors! Open the blast doors!” Desi yelled as she and Mac sprinted around a corner to see the thick metal doors at the end of the corridor sliding shut. 

“I’m trying,” Riley’s voice crackled over the comms, “I can’t interrupt the programme, I'll have to wait for the doors to close before I can open them.” 

Bozer’s voice joined Riley’s. “Is there time for that? 

“No,” Mac said, “I’d say we have about ten seconds before the bomb goes off, that was all the time I could buy us.” 

Mac and Desi glanced at each other and ran faster. 

The stained, grey doors clanked slowly but inevitably down. They were heavy enough to withstand the force of the explosion due to rip through the facility in nine seconds, eight seconds, seven...anyone outside them would be safe when they finally slammed shut. Anyone inside however – well if the fiery flames of the explosion didn’t spoil their day the collapse of tonnes of metal and stone onto their heads would. 

Six seconds, five... 

“We’re going to have to Raiders our way through this,” Desi said. 

“I was thinking the same thing,” Mac panted, “let’s do it.” 

Mac and Desi put on a last burst of speed then when they were only feet away from being sealed in they both threw themselves to the ground and slid, belly first, through the gap under the door and into the hallway beyond. The door slammed shut behind them, just missing their toes. They collided with the wall opposite with breathless thuds just in time to hear a muted boom that made the structure around them shudder and sent dust drifting down onto them. They lay still for a moment, catching their breath and waiting to be sure that they had somehow actually made it. 

“Did you just make a Star Wars and an Indiana Jones reference within the space of thirty seconds?” Mac eventually said, pushing himself up onto his elbows, “because the fact that you can do that is really hot.” 

“It felt like the way to go,” Desi coughed. 

“I’ll have to buy a hat in case we ever do that again,” Mac pointed to the door, “so I can reach out and save it from being squashed at the last minute.” 

“Would we have to run away from a huge bolder at some point?” Desi asked, “Because I don’t want to do that.” 

“That’s not something I have planned but how do you feel about snakes?” 

“I like snakes.” Desi said, “I don’t like getting my face melted off by ancient religious artefacts though.” 

“Me either, let’s not do that.” Mac shook the dust out of his fringe, “And we need to stay right away from crystal skulls.” 

“Are you guys okay?” Riley called through the comms. 

“We’re fine Ri,” Desi said, “We Harrison Ford-ed our way out of there.” 

"Han Solo or Indiana Jones?" Bozer sounded impressed. 

“We went full Indy.” Mac pulled himself up of the ground. Desi followed, brushing herself off. 

“Did you get everything you needed?” Riley asked. 

“We did, the data was intercepted, the weapons were destroyed and a very bad organisation was put out of business," Mac said, “Not bad for a day’s work.” 

“Awesome." The sound of typing could be heard behind Riley’s voice, “I’m sending exfil to you now. It’s time to come home.” 

  


What they don’t tell you at spy school or in high octane action movies is that not every day is like that. Some days it’s like the bad guys have all gone on hiatus or abandoned their lives of crime to open an organic smoothie business. On those days there’s nothing to do, no crimes to fight or evil plans to foil. Some days your boss has you catching up on paperwork and completing online health and safety training. Some days were boring. 

Bozer sighed dramatically and flopped back in his seat. “Is this what being in a coma feels like?” he announced into the training room, “Because I think this is what being in a coma must feel like. I’m so bored I feel like my spine has melted.” He sunk bonelessly down in his chair, looking ready to slip off the furniture and onto the floor like a well lubricated eel. 

“When you’re in a coma you don’t know you’re in a coma so it’s actually less boring than this.” Desi’s chin was resting in her hands with her elbows propped on a table as she stared into her laptop. Her eyes were half closed and unfocused. 

“Have you ever been in a coma?” Bozer asked, perking up minutely with interest, “When was that?” 

“It’s classified, Boze," Desi said. 

“Oh.” Bozer pouted and slid so far down on his seat that he actually did slide off his chair and onto the carpet beneath his feet. 

Riley tapped the enter key on her laptop with a nail. “It’s bad when what you’re doing is so boring that hearing a story about a long stretch of unconsciousness would be a relief.” 

Desi squinted at her laptop. “It says here that you should never use a water based fire extinguisher on electrical equipment - it can be dangerous,” she fixed Mac with a knowing look. “Have you ever heard that, Mac? 

“Yes of course,” Mac kept his eyes focused down at his own training, trying very hard not to move them in a way that could be described as ‘shifty’, “Water and electricity are a dangerous combination, I don’t know why anyone would ever mix the two together.” 

Desi smirked at Mac, he smirked back. Turning to his own laptop Mac’s features twisted into a look of utter despair. “Okay, that’s it I’m done. I can’t take this anymore!” Mac slapped his laptop shut. “The floor is lava,” he pushed his computer aside and hopped up to sit on his table. “Come on,” he said to his stunned friends, “don’t you need a break from this? The floor is lava!” 

“The floor is lava?” Bozer said from his place on the ground. He blinked. He blinked again, twice, “Then, damn, I’m burning!” he yelped and jumped up to climb up onto his own table. 

When Russ walked past the room ten minutes later he found the team all stood on tables constructing a complicated system of pulleys out of chair parts and elastic bands. 

“Errr, hi," Bozer said with a weak little grin when he saw Russ looking. 

“I think it’s reasonable for me to ask what’s going on in here," Russ said, looking at his team of highly skilled agents who at that moment were stood on top of pieces of furniture with comically guilty looks on their faces. 

“Russ, the thing is,” Riley sighed, “the thing is that the floor is lava.” 

Russ eloquently raised an eyebrow, “The floor - and let me make sure I heard you correctly - is lava?” 

Riley nodded. 

“Well, why didn’t anyone tell me?” Russ launched himself into a swivel chair and kicked at the ground to propel himself towards the table that Bozer was stood on and climbed up beside him. “So what’s the plan?” 

  


The guard grinned maliciously and kicked over a huge barrel sending a wave of clear liquid towards Desi and the scientists she was trying to rescue. 

“Up on the counters! Off the floor, now!” The lead scientist shouted as the liquid rushed forward, “Everyone, quick!” 

There was a scramble as Desi and the four hostages clambered onto the counters and tables in the lab they’d been locked in. 

“You’re not going anywhere.” The guard smirked and walked away. 

“What is that?” Desi looked down at the liquid covering the floor. 

“It’s hydrochloric acid," The lead scientist said. “You don’t want it anywhere near your skin, trust me.” 

“Mac,” Desi said into her comms, “the situation here has just got a lot more complicated, how far out are you?” 

“We’re having a few issues getting into the compound,” Mac replied, “we'll be with you in about ten minutes.” 

“I don’t know if we have that long before the guard comes back with his friends.” 

Thin, blue tinged tendrils of smoke were rising from the concrete floor.

“We’re trapped!” One of the scientists whimpered, his skin pale and shining with sweat. "They told us not to try to escape!" 

“The rest of the guards will be here soon.” Another of the hostages gibbered. “What are we going to do?” He and others clung together, muttering in high pitched panic. 

Desi looked down to where the ground had started to bubble, she looked over to the people she’d been sent to help who were too scared to think straight. “The floor is lava,” she said. 

“I beg your pardon,” The lead scientist said. 

“You must have played that as a kid.” The scientists all stared at Desi. “That’s all we’re doing here,” she said. “How do we get to the other end of the room without touching the floor - think about it.” 

She saw the minds behind four sets of worried eyes start to work. 

“Well,” one of the scientists said, “we could take that lamp over there...” 

  


The debrief back at the Phoenix was interesting. 

“And can you confirm how you helped the hostages find a way out of the room?” Matty asked. 

“I suggested they imagined that the floor was covered in lava," Desi said. 

“Lava?” 

“Yep,” Desi made the P in the word pop. “I figured it would help frame the problem in a way that made it less threatening. Everyone played that game as a kid.” 

“Some people play it as adults,” Matty said wryly. 

To a man Mac, Desi, Riley and Bozer showed her an expression of pure innocence. 

  


“What are you looking at me like that for?” Desi asked. 

“Like what?” Mac said, “I’m just looking at you.” 

“No, you’re not.” 

“What? It’s nothing.” 

“No, there’s something, you have a ‘something’ face. Although to be fair,” Desi added after a brief moment of reflection, “I don’t think you have a ‘nothing’ face.” 

“It’s just,” Mac held the door open for Desi and they both stepped out of the Phoenix and into the purpling twilight of an LA evening, “You told the hostages to imagine that the floor was lava. That’s both crazy and brilliant.” 

“Crazy and brilliant.” Desi tipped her head back to look up at the clouds above them, “I like that, I might get it printed on a t shirt.” 

“I think it would be nice stitched on the stomach of a teddy bear.” Mac waved a hand in front of his chest. 

“That would be cute.” 

Mac dropped the hand that he’d been waving over around Desi’s shoulder. “Are you ready to go home?” 

“Absolutely.” Desi nodded slowly, “I’m looking forward to an evening of keeping my feet flat on the floor.” 

Mac chuckled and pulled his car keys from his pocket, “So let’s keep calm and carry on,” he said. 

**Author's Note:**

> Does spilling hydrochloric acid on concrete make it smoke and bubble? I doubt it but it sounded cool 😉


End file.
